Cockroach...not just a big one, or a huge one, but yes the giant type. The type that, when it prances around my kitchen floor making it's way into the dinning room, causes the Oregon pine floors to vibrate while my eardrums transmit scratches. The dark knots that are characteristic to Oregon pine are hard to distinguish from the sudden plague of cockroaches.
A generous spray of cockroach poison and the giant threatens to spread it's wings. I feel my heart beat pick up and decide that spraying some more poison may bring this awkward confrontation to a place that the giant and I can both feel comfortable. The giant turns away from me.
After calculating how important having ice-cream with crushed kit-kat is, I surrender and retreat from the kitchen. I assume the position of a brave warrior...with the duvet over my head.